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Domestic violence a plague

As we travel through life, we are, whether we like it or not, a product of our past. However, we can decide to let the abuse, the hurt and pain go. And, not only let it go, but let it stop with us.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. Our state nor our picturesque town are immune to the horror of domestic violence. You may not know if you are a victim of abuse. What is domestic violence? Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used by one person in a relationship in order to have power and control, by using physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, financial and other controls against a victim.

If your partner does things that make you afraid or restricts your freedom, you may be a victim of domestic violence. Some effects on health may include physical injuries, chronic pain, sleeplessness, restlessness, anxiety, and/or panic attacks, abuse of alcohol or drugs or eating disorders.

Studies have found that domestic violence knows no boundaries regarding socio-economic status, race, ethnicity or occupation. Identifying domestic violence is sometimes difficult as it does not always result in a black eye. Though physical violence is domestic violence, here is some other ways an abuser may harm or try to control you. This is, by far, not an exhaustive list:

• He/She isolates you from family and friends?

• Smashes or breaks your things or hurts your pets?

• Keeps you from going where you want to go?

• Blames you for the abuse?

• Acts extremely jealous or overly protective?

• Withholds money?

• Keeps you from taking medication or getting medical care? Or forces you to take or sell medications?

• Humiliates you, calls you names or puts you down?

You deserve a peaceful life. You deserve to be treated with respect. You may feel you do not and that also is an effect of abuse and the power that has been held over you. Please know, you are not alone. This abuse is not your fault. It is time to take action, to break free from your abuser. Let the abuse Stop With You!

Max Lucado told the story: “Some years ago a dear friend of mine was called to he funeral home to identify the body of his father, who had been shot in the middle of the night by his ex-wife. The shotgun blast was just one in a long line of angry outbursts and violent family moments.  My friend remembers standing near the body and resolving, it stops with me. (And it has.)

Make the same resolve. Yes, your family history has some sad chapters. But your history doesn’t have be your future. The generational garbage can stop here and now. You don’t have to give our kids what your ancestors gave you.

Lucado continues, “Talk to God about the scandals and the scoundrels. Invite him to relive the betrayal with you. Bring it out in the open.

Difficult for certain. But let God do his work. The process may take a long time. It may take a lifetime. Family pain is the deepest pain because it was inflicted so early and because it involves people who should have been trustworthy.

When they judged you falsely, you believed them. All this time you’ve been operating on faulty data. “You’re stupid, slow, dumb like your daddy, fat like your momma. Decades later the voices of defeat still echo in our subconscious.

But they don’t have to! ‘Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (Romans 12:2NLT) You are not who they said you were. You are God’s child. His creation. Destined for heaven. You are a part of his family.”

Breaking the cycle of abuse is not an easy task, but it is possible with God!

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Women’s Aid in Crisis: Randolph, Tucker, Barbour, Braxton, Upshur, and Webster County: 1-800-339-1185

Kimberly Morgan is a wife, mom and mimi. She is also the Executive Director of Women’s Aid in Crisis in Elkins.  She can be reached at kimberlymorganma@yahoo.com.

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