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The old doctor is back

Pigskin pics

September 2, 2011
by Doctor Elmo

The doctor is back, a lot older and not much wiser. But I felt it was a must to return to the West Virginia hills with high school football season upon us.

I've put a fresh coat of paint on the old clinic and I have Nurse Miss Goodie Two-Shoes on the payroll. I have hired a third person on my staff and I will introduce him to the public next week.

Let us not forget that I have the fastest 8-ball in the valley, but for now I say, football is among us, so let's get ready to rumble.

Buckhannon-Upshur (0-1) at Robert C. Byrd (1-0). The B-U Bucs got blasted to the tune of 45 to zip score by a strong Bridgeport team last week, while RCB upset Fairmont Senior. The doctor sees B-U going down for a second week in a row by 24 points

Craig (Va.) at East Hardy (0-0). I suspect I've been out of the area too long, because I've never heard of Craig. But I have heard of the Cougars from Baker, and even though this is their first game, I'm picking them by 8.

Hampshire (0-1) at Elkins (0-1). Here are two teams without a win, but that will all change tonight because the magic 8-ball sees a 17 -point victory for coach Hott's Tigers. And as they say, when the Tigers are on, this means "Hott's hot"!

Lewis County (1-0) at Grafton (1-0). Two teams both undefeated, but nurse two-shoes sees the Lewis County Minutemen remaining that way with this 8-point win.

Frankfort at (0-0) at Moorefield (0-1). Frankfort was idle on the opening week, but won't be idle this week with a 14-point victory in Hardy County.

Petersburg (0-1) at Pendleton County (1-0). The Vikings of Petersburg got it socked to them with a 46-point loss to Keyser last week. The Vikings won't get beat that bad this time around, however they will lose by 24 to Pendleton County.

Lincoln (1-0) at Philip Barbour (0-1). They call Morgantown "Touchdown City" but Dr. Elmo's clinic has a nick-name as well. It's call it "up-set clinic," and here's the reason. The gang at the clinic sees the Barbour County Colts handing Lincoln a 6-point loss.

Parkersburg Catholic (0-1) Pocahontas County (0-1). No one can say that the Warriors play a "cream puff" schedule, but words don't help heal the pain of this 16-point loss

Tygarts Valley (0-1) at Tucker County (1-0). Tucker's bleachers are not installed as of yet, however, that will make no difference as the Mountain Lion faithful normally stands while rooting for their team who will win this contest by a 27-point spread.

Marshall (0-0) at West Virginia (0-0). I can't get all excited about this one because it won't even be close, and also because its being played on a Sunday. Well to make a long story short, the Mountaineers will take this one by 32 points. Yes, I said 32!

So there you have 'em for his week. You may or may not know that the doctor had a book printed called, "Dr. Elmo's Medical Dictionary & Ask Dr. Elmo," so every week I will close by giving you a couple medical terms and a couple questions sent in by the readers.

First from the medical dictionary: ANTIBIOTIC: Against everything; ARTERY: A place where they keep fine art.

Now, from 'Ask Dr. Elmo': One person asked, "Doctor, if I stay in good shape, diet, stop smoking and drinking, what will be the results? Dr. Elmo replied: I guess that someday you will die real healthy. Another asked: "What will happen to me if I don't stop smoking?" Elmo replied: One of these days your going to wake up dead!

Well, that's it for this week, don't forget your appointment next Thursday.



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