Nobody knows the troubles I've seen. If you think hearing me sing that verse would sound really bad, you're right. But just hold on to your hat, because things don't get any better.
What a revolting development last weekend turned out to be. Let me begin with an interesting but true fact, which might very well be considered an interesting excuse.
Last Friday was the last day of the month, and it was an evening with the second full moon of August, which is commonly referred to as a "blue moon." I'm here to tell you that the old man in the moon is the one who caused me, the good doctor, to have a record of 8-4 last week. And as you know, that just isn't the doctor's style.
Yes the moon really played havoc on us here at the clinic, so much that it was like someone telling me that there is no Santa Clause.
Looking to the brighter side of the issue, we saw Petersburg finally get the monkey off its back with a win. And both Lewis County and Philip Barbour picked up win. And let's not forget that I told you Moorefield would lose by seven points when in fact it lost by eight.
I also said the Mountaineers would trip Marshall by 28 and I was just one touchdown off. So life goes on and it is time get on with this week's lineup.
BUCKHANNON-UPSHUR (0-2) at ELKINS (2-0): Two of my Dandy Dozen teams headed in different directions. The Bucs are down on their luck, while the Tigers are like a cheap burger, in that they are "on a roll." Give this one to the orange and black at home by 24 points.
POINT PLEASANT (2-0) at LEWIS COUNTY (1-1): Two teams that are like strangers in the night. Since the visitors are now Class AAA and were unbeaten last season, I have the feeling that you've got to go with the team that's got the horses. That's why I'm saying Point Pleasant by eight points.
PRESTON COUNTY (0-2) at FAIRMONT SENIOR (1-1): The Polar Bears are now in Class AA, but they will handle the Class AAA Knights and win by 17 points.
PETERSBURG (1-1) at BERKELEY SPRINGS (0-2): The Vikings won their first game last week, while the home standing Indians are 0-2 and have yet to score a points - being outscored 87-0 in two games. Make it two in a row for the Vikings with a 10-point win.
BRAXTON COUNTY (2-0) at PHILIP BARBOUR (1-1): Do you think the Colts have gotten it all together? I do. Now I spell this one, u-p-s-e-t. Philip Barbour handing Braxton its first loss, and by 14 points.
SOUTH HARRISON (1-1) at TYGARTS VALLEY (0-2): The Hawks poured it on the Bulldogs last season, but now they're playing in Mill Creek. The only difference will be South Harrison will win by 18.
TUCKER COUNTY (2-0) at NORTHERN GARRETT (0-1): The Lions hit the road out and head out of state to Accident, Maryland. Northern lost its opener to a keystone state team. It won't be an accident that Tucker wins this one by 13 markers.
SOUTHERN GARRETT (0-1) at MOOREFIELD (1-1): The Yellow Jackets lost a close one last week and they tend to get a little upset when they lose. Give me Moorefield with a 15-point win.
EAST HARDY (1-0) at AUBURN, Va.: The Cougars travel into Virginia for the second week in a row, and the good doctor says East Hardy will win by 6.
POCAHONTAS COUNTY (0-2) at PENDLETON COUNTY (1-1): Here is a "Dandy Dozen" game that normally is a no holds barred contest. After the dust settles you will see a Pocahontas County with a 6-point win.
NORTH MARION (0-2) at BRIDGEPORT (1-1): I will make this as simple as I can. Bridgeport lost a 1-point contest to Wheeling Park by missing an extra-point, then a game-winning field goal in the final seconds. I've got to believe the Indians will take out their disappointment with a 24-point win.
BROOKE (0-2) at UNIVERSITY (2-0): The fur will be flying in "Touchdown City" and after it clears, you will see the University Hawks remaining undefeated with a 19-point win.
You know what? I still cannot believe that we here at the clinic actually missed 4-of-12 picks last week. There must have been something greater than the blue moon. Do you suppose the good doctor is losing it? I reckon we'll just have to mark that one off as something out of the twilight zone.