Dear Annie: My name is Jess, and I’ve always prided myself on being the “steady one.” I have a good job as a marketing manager, a wonderful husband named “Fred,” and a life that feels stable and predictable. On paper, everything looks perfect. But lately, I can’t shake this persistent, nagging feeling that something is missing.

Growing up, my parents struggled financially, so I learned early on to choose security above all else. I picked a practical career over pursuing my dream of becoming a travel writer. I bought a sensible condo instead of moving to a bustling city like New York or exploring life abroad. Even in my relationship with Fred — who is kind, reliable and everything I could ask for — I wonder if I’ve chosen comfort over passion.

Now, at 34, I find myself looking back and questioning whether I’ve built a life I truly love or one that simply feels safe. I’ve been fantasizing about taking risks — whether that’s finally writing that travel blog, signing up for an improv class or taking a sabbatical to backpack through Europe. But every time I consider it, I freeze. What if I ruin the stability I’ve worked so hard to build? What if I disappoint the people who rely on me?

How do I balance the life I’ve carefully created with this deep urge to try something bold and new? Is it possible to chase adventure without blowing up everything I’ve worked for? — Jess the Steady Dreamer

Dear Jess the Steady Dreamer: I say go for the risk! Freezing up is a very typical response when we’ve experienced trauma in the past. It’s your body reacting as though you’re still in danger, even though you’re not. The truth is, the real danger lies in not pursuing the life you truly want to live.

Start with baby steps. Write a few pieces for a travel blog, or take a class in something you’re passionate about. Once you begin moving toward your goals, the patterns of hesitation will start to melt away.

I also recommend exploring somatic therapy, which is an excellent resource for addressing fight, flight or freeze responses. A trained somatic therapist can help you work through and release some of the traumas that may be holding you back.

You’ve already built a solid foundation; now it’s time to build the life you’ve been dreaming of!