Trending
Have you typed a message and quickly hit send, even as your brain is saying, You may want to think about this one first! Most of us have been there. That's why I wanted to write on restraint (pausing). It's an important message and one that bears revisiting.
My columns often have repeated topics. Why? New readers. I have more than 30,000 subscribers to this column via LinkedIn. Reminders are helpful. Our brain can retain only so much.
Back to pausing. I have seldom regretted pausing. I often wish I had paused. An action can cause damage, from a moment to a lifetime.
The ability to receive and send messages to people has never been easier. When Benjamin Franklin was in France, letters could take months to be received. Today, a message takes a second. Cursive writing or printing was used solely for communication at one time. The response to a paper message is slower.
It's not that a quick response is always bad. It can be life- or relationship-saving. That text to let someone know something quickly is helpful. For example, a CEO needs to reach thousands, and time is of the essence. There are so many wonderful advances in communication.
Yet there are also times when speed is not good (for example, that email or text that is written hastily when emotions are high). The other day, I sent a text and then decided to unsend it. I felt a sigh of relief when I unsent it. A bit later, I received a response to the text. I had not unsent it soon enough.
Pausing does not mean we always end up not acting. It gives us time to think. Does this need to be written or said? If no, move on. If yes, what is the best way to do so? You can still write something. The key is to hold on the send.
A couple of tips:
Technology can be helpful for pausing. One can schedule their emails to be released at a certain time. I catch up on emails on weekends. Often these are to internal staff. When I hit send, a message comes up and tells me the email will be sent at 9:00 a.m. CST on Monday. This does not then interfere with staff weekends. If the email is urgent, there is an option to send the message right away.
Ask yourself three questions before you send a message: How necessary is the message? Can it wait? Will it help? I find waiting can be a good thing. Often the issue resolves itself or gets resolved by someone else. Early on in my career, I was frustrated that my leader was not taking quicker action on items. I asked him why. He said that in his experience, when we pause, situations often take care of themselves. This does not mean he did not act if needed. Action is then taken on those items that do not resolve themselves.
We live in an instant world. Please take time to pause to enjoy the journey. Each day is a gift to be opened and cherished...and that takes a little time.
***
Quint Studer is the author of 16 books on leadership in the workplace and the community. His book Building a Vibrant Community is a valuable resource for civic leaders, business owners, and all citizens who have a stake in building a community they can be proud to call home. In Sundays with Quint, he shares a selection of his popular leadership columns for leaders, employees, and business owners in all industries. He can be reached at Quint@QuintStuder.com.