My friend Marv is near the end of his life on earth. By the time this is published and posted, he may have already ascended to heaven.  

I met Marv 44 years ago when I entered the rooms of recovery. Marv must have known how scared I was for he quickly embraced me. I have never had a day in recovery in which Marv was not a part of my life. He loves unconditionally. 

As life evolved, the giant of a man from Milton, Wisconsin, and this small-in-stature fellow from Janesville, Wisconsin, (that’s me) shared many experiences.

In recovery, there is something called the Fifth Step. This is where one shares thoughts and actions in their life. It is the inventory conducted during Step 4. 

When people come into recovery, the inventory is often not a great one. It is filled with regrets.

As I drove to Marv’s place with my list of items to share, I thought, Once I share these things, he will likely not like me. As I sat with Marv, it all poured out. Instead of Marv’s not liking me, I left knowing that Marv loved me.  

When he lived in Wisconsin, he was the community’s go-to Santa and the hand to reach out to when in trouble. My wife, Rishy, and I moved to Florida in 1996 but also spent time in Wisconsin. One time when we were there, we received a call about a situation in Florida that I did not know how to handle. I knew Marv would. So I called Marv, shared the situation, and asked if he would drive back to Florida with us.

He asked, “When do you want to leave?” I said, “Right away.” He said, “Pick me up in 30 minutes.” That is how Marv thought. It was always, “How can I help?”

Marv served as the employee assistance representative at the General Motors plant in Janesville. He saved many lives of people who were experiencing deaths of loved ones, depression, and addiction. 

If something needed to be done in the community, Marv was there. He led food drives, toy drives, and other community events. Each week, Marv brought the message of hope into jails. He made a difference.

At my 60th birthday party, Marv came to Pensacola where I live and met a lovely woman named Robin. This led to marriage and to Marv’s move to Pensacola.

Just as he did in Wisconsin, Marv volunteered in jails and helped hundreds in recovery. His impact was evident when people from other parts of the country flew into Pensacola when they heard Marv was in hospice. As one person said, “I need to thank the man who saved my life.”

When Mister Rogers was presented a Lifetime Achievement Emmy for his work on his show on PBS, he asked the in-person audience and viewers on TV to close their eyes and for 10 seconds to think of someone who has been kind to them. I invite you to take time to do the same and to let people know you love them. Love you, Marv.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Marv passed shortly after Quint Studer wrote this column.

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Quint Studer is the author of 16 books on leadership in the workplace and the community. His book “Building a Vibrant Community” is a valuable resource for civic leaders, business owners, and all citizens who have a stake in building a community. He can be reached at Quint@QuintStuder.com.