In one of the most convoluted lawsuits of all time, a cabal of state attorneys general and the Federal Trade Commission are now accusing financial firms BlackRock, State Street and Vanguard of monopolistic behavior. The complaint asserts that these firms bought coal stocks and then helped impose radical environmental restrictions on the companies they partially own so that coal output would fall and the price of coal would rise. The lawsuit alleges that this strategy generated “supra-competitive” profits for those investors.

If your head is spinning around trying to make heads or tails out of this loopy conspiracy theory, it should be. If it were true, then these asset managers must be capable of pulling off the equivalent of a triple bank shot in billiards. They allegedly invested in coal companies, then partnered together with climate change groups to drive coal companies bankrupt, which then drove up the price of coal. If that tactic worked to make money, Kellogg’s would stop making Frosted Flakes so that the price of the last boxes on the grocery store shelves sold for $100.

What’s laughable about this lawsuit is that the Vanguards of the world didn’t need to conspire to restrict coal production: That’s what Democrats like Joe Biden and environmental groups like the Sierra Club have been doing for years.

They are the ones guilty of a conspiracy to rip off consumers, bankrupt an American industry, put blue-collar workers out of jobs and raise energy prices. They ran multimillion-dollar campaigns to “kill coal” by advancing a “net zero” fossil fuel energy policy on America with the explicit goal of shutting down coal plants. Their plan — at least temporarily — wildly succeeded.

Over the past 15 years, 63 major coal companies have closed their mining operations. And just where exactly are these “supra-competitive” profits that the FTC and state lawyers are asserting? It’s true that, for a short while in 2022 and 2023, coal and oil profits soared as a result of Biden’s war on energy. But as Yahoo Finance put it recently, coal is valued at a lower multiple than other sectors because of its lower earnings.

Maybe this isn’t taught in the top law schools, but money management firms with trillions of dollars of assets like BlackRock, State Street and Vanguard don’t invest in companies and then try to steer them into bankruptcy. That’s a money-LOSING proposition every time — except in Mel Brooks’ famous Broadway show “The Producers,” in which two scamsters conspire to make a show that will intentionally flop. That was a make-believe COMEDY. This lawsuit is too, but no one is laughing.

Even the claim that the three firms on trial here worked with environmental groups to reduce coal output is highly suspect.

It is true that some of the large investment companies promoted the radical climate agenda. And just like Bud Light, they paid a hefty price for their political activism.