Show kindess this holiday season

Dear Heloise: It’s at this time of year that so many people feel a sense of grief during the holidays. While so many of us are enjoying family and friends during the holidays, there are thousands of people who wish desperately for someone to take them shopping or call them a couple of times a week, even if it’s just to say “hello” and show some sincere interest and kindness.

If your parents live out of state, a visit or a card with a letter inside is always fun to get. If you have family or friends who are going through a difficult time, invite them to dinner or lunch. Most of all, stay in contact! The world can look very dark to anyone who has lost a child, a partner, or even a pet.

Sometimes we can’t give advice; we can only listen but show interest and assure them that we are there to support them as they grapple with their sadness. The words “what can I do to help you” can mean the world to another person. If at all possible, get them out of the house, visit friends together, or see a movie or a play.

You can have them help you with something such as a garage sale or with donating books to a hospital or nursing home. Try to get them engaged in activities and in their lives. It may be that your company and kindness is the best gift they’ll receive this holiday season.

Heloise, thank you for your contributions, hints, and all you do to help others with your column. — Retired Dr. J.K.M., in New York, New York

Dr. J.K.M., thank you for reminding all of us that the season of joy can also be a season of sadness for others. — Heloise

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TV BACKGROUND NOISE

Dear Heloise: I am writing in regarding the question from Lisa B., in New Hampshire. I discovered years ago that you can lower the background music or anything else that drowns out the dialogue by setting the sound on the TV to mono instead of stereo. Adjusting the bass and tremble on surround-sound systems also helps. Thank you for helping people to help others. — John M., in Waterbury, Connecticut