I want to first thank some great people for reaching out to me concerning this column.

Several of my friends’ parents have sent messages thanking me for doing this. Random people in the community have reached out with a thank you as well. I appreciate the support and love I feel from writing this column.

When Alzheimer’s Disease worsens, there comes a point that family members are not recognized. Spouses may be asked, “Are you my mom?” Hopefully you can take this question with some humor and not be distressed by it.

A rule of thumb is remembering your loved one is not doing things “on purpose.” They do not always recognize the home they have lived in for 40 years, their spouse of 50 years, or their children they have raised since birth.

Some best practices: Orient the person to who you are when speaking to them.

For example, always say their name at the start of every conversation. I know this will feel monotonous but it is necessary to keep your loved one oriented to you.

If you are a child, start sentences by saying Mom or Dad, so they know you are their child.

Again, you should repeat this with every conversation, as people’s short term memory is wrecked by the disease; they forget within seconds of the discussion.

I will leave you with an example that I use to train caregivers with loved ones who suffer from memory loss.

Picture this: France 1997. You have always wanted to go to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower. All of your family and friends cannot get off work and are unable go on the trip with you.

You decide to go through a travel agent and everything is set. You fly into Paris and once off the plane, you feel quite disoriented.

Everything is written in French, everyone is speaking French, and you begin to freak out.

What was I thinking? I have got to get out of here. Just then, you hear, “Mrs. Kittle” and immediately, you feel safe.

It is the travel guide and SOMEONE HERE KNOWS ME! Thank God!

Imagine this scenario as how your loved one feels daily. They wake up, disoriented, in a house they no longer recognize, next to a total stranger.

Using their name several times throughout the day helps reorient them to SOMEONE HERE KNOWS ME! I am where I am supposed to be.

As silly as you may feel, using their name, not honey or babe, throughout the day several times, will keep them oriented to you.

Much love to you as your daily job of caregiving is so difficult.

For questions, please feel free to please write in to The Inter Mountain at 520 Railroad Ave., Elkins, WV 26241, or send email to bjohnson@theintermountain.com.